


Our Time is Not Now

by napaulay



Category: Nine Inch Nails (Band), Trent Reznor - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-04 11:23:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14591958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/napaulay/pseuds/napaulay
Summary: Lila is a girl who tries to follow the course of life as a screenwriter. After working in a movie with Trent Reznor both can see that something more is happening between them and pursue a cautious relationshipFanfic about Trent, nothing is real only imagination. I'm proud of my work. I hope you like it.Review by: Cate





	1. A rainy evening

Today I stayed at home. It's my day off. When I have these days, I rest and check my personal work, which is music and movies. I wake up after a long nap, in a bad mood, because I slept too much and almost wasted my day off.

I go to my office and switch on my computer. Today is a rainy day. I was feeling a little sleepy, but the work for called me, I open the 'Celtx' and start again from where I stopped in my script. Right now, it's been almost a year that working on this script, it's a drama about a woman who fought for her whole life for the respect of her parents. I hope, whoever film this story, makes an incredible movie.

Suddenly I stop, I heard a noise like the door opening, there is only one way to open that door beyond me ... It was Trent. I ran down the hallway to the entrance hall.

\- Why are you here in my house? – I said, looking suspicious.

\- I was going to surprise you. – Trent said in a cute way.

\- People will get suspicious!

He got closer and gave me a strong kiss that made me feel weak for a second.

\- You fucker! - I said softly.

\- I love it when you call me that, it reminds me of my old days.

I hug him and place my legs against in his waist. The warmth of his arms makes my whole body wake up. I got horny by now. Trent might be old, but the experience he has is better than any guy I've ever met. He's got a lot of breath yet. Thank God!

Suddenly I had no pants and panties on me, he slid his tongue over my hips, down gently to my cunt giving me a small bite on my clit, I moaned ruthlessly. He's definitely kissing every part I need; this man knows his job.

\- Trent look at me ... - His satisfied face is giving me chills, I am almost cumming in his mouth.

\- I must return my best friend. – He says cleaning his mouth with his hand.

\- What??? – Oh, don't leave me like that.

\- I told you, it's just a surprise visit. The complete service will come later. – He smirks.

\- Oh, you bitch. – I give him a nasty smile.

He leaves me drenched on my couch. When he closes the door behind, I finish alone.

He owes me one, this little whore.


	2. Into the arms of the lovers

This season I started working on a new song for NIN in the studio with Trent and Atticus. After working on a film and not dealing directly with the music, Trent finally approached me. I told him about my love for NIN and mentioned that I am also a musician. One day he happened to see me play and he called me for an audition. Now, here I am, on Null.

Working with him is tiring but exciting, his level of professionalism is lovely and very good because we don't make many mistakes and can easily delve into new varieties of styles, samples and rhythms.

Today Atticus couldn't stay, he had to deal with some contracts for his next job; an original soundtrack for a movie that he will be part of. So, he left me and Trent in the studio where we continued to do our thing. Me playing the piano and him on the synthesizers.

Trent has this incredible lyric about nostalgia that nearly makes me cry. He was deeply focused and after a while I realized that something was not right, he seemed fixated in his own mind, it's dangerous.

\- Trent? – I call out to him carefully.

\- What? - He said so softly, I almost couldn't hear him.

I stood up, came up near to him and touched his shoulder.

\- Are you okay? You missed the mark. – I asked, making my voice soft too.

\- I'm cool...I wasn't, at that time ... - He starts to get emotional and his breathing becomes heavy.

\- Trent, I'm here, talk to me ...

He stood up from the synthesizer, looking at me with an empty yet piercing stare, he came towards me. I got stood up and hugged him. I could feel the tiredness radiate all through his body.

\- Let's rest on the couch.

I conduct him down on the couch, he laid down placing himself in placing himself on his side. And I caress his face, while sitting beside him.

\- I'm tired of worrying about projects. I'm afraid people get tired of my shit. Am I doing anything good? I do not know! I feel empty of ideas ...

\- Trent stop! You're not doing anything wrong. We're doing something really fucking good. Look at me! You have a wonderful job, we, the band, are here to assist you with anything. Don't worry!

I put my hands on his cheeks and felt a warmth so good. He pulled me close to his face and gave me a sweet kiss on my lips. I respond with a more intense kisses, laying down on top of him with his legs open around my hips. I relax into it and kiss him even more, we were deeply connected. I push down with my hips giving a signal to 'fuck' and he moaned. I knew even without my strap-on I could make him feel better than he ever had, because the tension between us was thick. I keep moving against him, throwing his shirt away mercilessly and continue to bite his nipples. I was moving very fast, I pull off my blouse in a gentle movement, hug him and he kisses my neck with passion.

I pushed off his pants and underwear. Soon I am too completely naked on top of him. He looked up at me with pleasure, I started to stroke him. He folds his arms around me, moaning loudly. My one hand reaches his lips, making him suck my fingers and with my other hand I squeeze his cock harder.

\- Please, make me feel good. – Definitely I will!

Trent looks so helpless, like he was losing something. I'll make sure he feels good.

I jerk him off harder and start to kiss him passionately, barely letting him breathe. He places his hand on my face, caressing my cheek. I was feel him loosen up and I hug him even tighter. Keeping up harsh jerking on his cock.

\- I'm gonna cum!

He screams loudly, moaning in a soft voice before cumming all over his belly. I saw the relieved and pleased expression on his face and I knew I'd made him satisfied. I lay down on him, feeling the his warm cum stick to my belly. I kissed his throat, going up, licking his chin, and ended up on his mouth with a passionate kiss.

I'm glad Atticus left early, I needed to take care of Trent. He's so vulnerable sometimes. He doesn't let it show much in front of others, only for me and Mariqueen. I'm glad to be by his side, because he has stood by mine.


	3. The day the world went away

Trent set up a performance for us this year. A simple concert for the LP and to honor David Bowie. Well, the group band assembled quickly and soon we hit the road.  
I met everyone before in the studio, Trent had gathered everyone to show what we were doing and to introduce me. Some of the guys seemed suspicious of me at first but after I talked to each of them they seemed at peace with my presence. I think it must have been strange for them to see me producing and creating with the Man of the House, but I think I can handle it.  
I sat in the middle of the bus alone, away from the guys and Trent, who was in the back of the bus talking to Mariqueen on the phone. I felt lonely but cool.  
Arriving at the hotel, I began to feel the vibe of the band getting together in the place. We had the manager's reception, it was strange for me as I’m not accustomed, but Trent has a name and we got to our rooms. I have a whole room just for me. For a moment I start to feel like Eloise at the Plaza, sassier with room service, snooping in the hallways to take some pics and watching some porn (which would be embarrassing as I have to pay later, and if the boys find out and they’ll keep messing with me).  
But the bell rings. I look into the magic eye and then I open the door quietly.  
\- What the hell are you doing here? – I ask, feeling a bit nervous.  
\- Did you miss me?! – Trent asks, smirking.  
\- OMG! Yes, you idiot, come in.  
Trent seems happy somehow.  
\- Why did you come so early? By the way, did you go to the bar with the boys?  
He comes up hugging me and responds.  
\- Actually, I could go get some soda with them. But they're going to be weird about it and then I said I wanted to get some rest. They understood.  
\- You're a liar. - I smiled at him very childishly.  
He kisses me very softly and I respond to him, playing with my lips on his, biting his lower lip. I looked into his eyes and was so full of joy that it ends my concentration.  
\- What's the matter with you? - I ask.   
\- I'm okay with it. I love being with my family but music is my first love, you know. I'm happy to be here and to share this with someone; my true identity. I only understood that when I started working with Mariqueen.  
\- I feel awful now.  
\- Do not feel that way. You are my colorful friendship and Mariqueen knows this, you know that she knows and understands.  
\- I have my principles. I get hurt a little bit, because I am loving you with pain. We shouldn't be together, you are already tied with someone.  
\- I always ask if everything is fine and you always say you are okay. We are together, we are doing the right thing, we respect each other.  
\- Sometimes I feel this concept 'manic pixie dream girl'. Like I'm only here to fix you, to be your object of pleasure.  
\- Nonsense. That's what's on your mind all this time? I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. Please, always talk to me about your feelings the way I say mine to you.  
\- I'm sorry, I will. It's just that I've been burned so much in the past. I'm a little unsure. - I look down thoughtfully.  
\- I'm here for you too. - He lifts my face.  
\- Thank you, my love.  
He kisses me deeply and I respond in the same tone. I jump in wedging my legs into his hips and continue to kiss him. He takes a turn and we fall onto the bed. He lays down putting his full body on the bed and I climb on top of his hips, starting to ride him, rubbing my cunt over his cock.  
He's getting a hard, it is almost impossible not to feel his excitement almost bursting out of his pants. I'm getting soaked and he starts to open my jeans. I gently guide his hands to find my pussy, massaging slowly. I kissed him tenderly, boy! he was good with his hands.  
The bell rang. I stayed still. FUCK! I did not know what to do. Trent closes my pants says he's going to the bathroom to clean his hands and tells me to check who it is. I look into the magic eye and see Robin standing quietly outside.  
\- I saw the shadow of your feet, Youngster.  
Shit, he'd noticed me. I open the door in panic.  
\- Hello, Fink. Are you all right?  
\- Well. I was leaving, and the guys did not invite you because they're scared, because you're a Youngster. So, I thought I should ask you, do you want to go out with me at least?  
\- Oh! - I was sweating deeply. - Maybe after the show. They'll see me rocking and then they'll start to trust me more.  
\- Okay, if you want it that way. Look, Trent picking you already makes me believe that you're good, do not look at it like something misogynistic, please.  
\- Haha, - I laugh strangely. - Thank you Fink! See you tomorrow!  
\- See you, Youngster.  
I close the door and my legs feel brittle. Trent comes to me on his knees and puts his hands on my sweaty face.  
\- Everything is fine now. - He said in a very low voice.  
\- You handled it very well, my dear.  
\- Trent!  
\- Yes darling.  
\- It's ter ... - I start to cry.  
\- I know and I'm sorry. I really apologize for terrorizing you by putting in this life. It was supposed to be fun for both of us, especially a lasting love.  
He gives me a very intense look. I stop crying and watch carefully.  
\- Let's end our relationship! – He says  
He left me speechless.  
\- I make that decision because while you were there I was scared. I love Fink, we were already lovers at the beginning of the band, and I cannot disappoint him after all we been through, he is quiet, but he wouldn’t understand us. Above all, you getting hurt makes me desperate, I love you! For real! So, I cannot keep you this close to me as I can hurt you so much. It's what I see, and it can also end your career. People wouldn’t understand what is happening between us, actually they don’t deserve to know either. People, they are petty and prejudiced.  
I'm so in shock and trying to process everything he's said. In my mind, I knew that this dangerous situation could happen and he would be held responsible. Before he can say anything he picks me up and lays me on the bed, giving me the most passionate kiss anyone could ever receive. I feel the taste of a farewell.  
He stops in front of me and says that he will treat me normally, with all the respect he has for me, after which he leaves me alone in the room.


	4. A call

Well ... After what happened, Trent and I worked together normally just as he had promised. I went to the studio and did what I had to do, the final touches. It was the worst climate and the guys noticed. When we finished the album, I took some time off for myself, got rid of the contract with Null, sold a script and then I decided to travel.  
I returned to my apartment in Brazil, as a first activity I began to clean the place. Thank God I live by myself. After cleaning I called my mother. I told her that I would see her soon, that I need time to reorganize in my jobs and personal works, she is a wonderful and understanding person.  
I went to my room and laid down on the bed looking at the large windows that emitted a beautiful light. It was late and I started thinking about everything. My work as a screenwriter was going very well, as a musician it was amazing because I never thought I would play in a band, I did it!  
But ... there is this feeling of emptiness in my heart, strange, that comes to me as a bad sign. I know I must move on but the memories came rushing in and I felt his lips on my mouth. I miss his eyes, so deep. I miss his smile, so sincerely childish. I need his touch. The memories hit me very hard. Fuck it all!  
I decided to get out of it and I called some friends. That night we went to this club, which is not my thing. There were a few guys that I had interest in, but nothing happened. I danced and had fun in my silly style, because now I don’t give a damn! That's when I saw Rodrigo, oh boy, in what situation did I leave that? Yes, we'd been flirting at that time and I didn’t know how to take him to bed with me. Things change, uhn.  
\- Hi, it's been so long since I've seen you. How are you? - He smiled, I hate his charm.  
\- Yes, a long time. I am fine.  
We talked a lot and of course he remembered where we left off before. I said a quick goodbye to my friends and we headed back to my apartment. We took off our clothes very quickly. We lie back on the bed and I started rubbing my cunt on his cock, teasing, he did not seem to like it.  
\- Let's fuck! - wow, the gentle touch.  
I asked him to suck me but he refused and I was losing the horn. I sucked him though, but he was complaining so I pulled his little penis out of my mouth and sat on it, riding wildly. It wasn’t pleasurable and I just wanted it to end. Beauty can't compensate for the bad fuck I was receiving. Beauty is not everything.  
My phone rang and I ignored it, riding him harder and the asshole was happy. The phone rang again with three rings, oh fuck it! It's your sign, It's him. I stopped, went to pick up my phone, I don’t know why the excitement was so strong but then I saw it was actually Mariqueen.  
\- Hello girl. – I said, trying to not lose my shit.  
\- Hey, Youngster. How are you? Can I talk to you? – She said in a direct voice.  
\- Sure! Hang on.  
I looked at Rodrigo and told him to get fuck out of my apartment. He was not satisfied nor was I. Fuck the fuck I had with him.  
Back on the phone.  
\- I'm here. Sorry I was with someone.  
\- Yeah girl, you didn't need to kick him out. I presume you did.  
\- I have!  
\- Well…  
\- So...  
\- Well, I'm calling you to say something important.  
I do not dare interrupt her pause.  
\- I'm glad you're not here! I do not hate you but I'm worried that Trent could get exposed for being with you. Somehow it could ruin him. I'm just worried about my husbands emotional and physical health. I know Trent is sometimes emotionally extreme and that what you two had was very intense, I know, but he has a family. Listen, if he calls you, do not answer, be decent. You are incredible at what you do, you will succeed. I want you to be happy. Do you understand?  
\- Yes ma'am.  
\- Well...goodbye.  
The phone was mute. Now I felt the impact of what we'd been doing. This is where the pain enters. I cannot help myself now, I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me. I feel the emptiness in my heart, it hurts so badly… please, I don’t want to feel like this. We just love each other, I didn’t want to hurt anyone. Am I a bad person? Get away from me sorrow, get away from me! I don’t want to feel my body hitting the floor.  
Fuck!


	5. Where it belongs

After Mariqueen's phone call, I felt mad and sad. At first, I stayed in my house and began to paint more, trying to get this bad feeling. I did not eat well, did not take baths regularly and above all I did not sleep. My mind kept thinking, "Did Trent lie to me about Mariqueen knowing and being cool about it?" If so, you son of a bitch!  
One day I was sick. I got up and took a long shower, vomited and then brushed my teeth. I walked into my living room feeling frail. Lying on the couch I cried about the situation, it totally consumed my physical and mental health. I was in love with someone and everything went wrong. Trent was trying to protect me, I know the possibility is there of us getting caught but we are smart, we would never let anyone catch us.  
I miss him!  
I want him!  
I need him!  
Please, let me have him again.  
I am really sorry  
After these days I gathered myself up and collected everything I'd made. My poems, short stories and some ideas for a screenplay then decided to comeback to Beverly Hills. I need to keep going with my life. I arrived, went straight to my home to rest a little. After that I should make some calls, after all I need to go back to work. But first I slept for hours, woke up feeling good in my body and mind, ready to find my next job. I sit up in my bed rubbing my eyes…  
\- Hi babe, I’m here…  
Now I do not know if I am hallucinating.  
\- Fuck you! Stay away from me. – I was fucking scared  
\- It's me. I'm here..  
\- Get out of here ... I cannot ... no more. - I back away from him in my own bed.  
He approaches me calmly with much affection and places his arms around me. I feel my word fall apart. God, I'm sorry for what I’m about to do. I hugged him back.  
\- Do you still have the keys? – I ask not understanding any of the situation.  
\- Yes.  
\- Please give them back to me. How did you know I was here?  
\- Wait, let me talk to you first. I knew because I asked the porter to tell me, he does not know that we do not speak.   
\- Shit!  
He places me comfortably on the bed and explains to me what happened. He says that he and Mariqueen had quarreled badly, she was afraid of us being together and the way our relationship was affecting her. She agreed and had understood everything but she felt betrayed somehow, it wasn’t all as clear to her and Trent acknowledged the danger he put his marriage in. And that he hadn't cared for his most precious being on this earth: Mariqueen. I'm shocked. They understand each other so well. I have to say...  
\- She is right! I was having more time with you than you with her. Partly because of the work, but we couldn’t be easily be apart...I am so sorry for her.  
\- I love you but you bring me something that I had buried.  
\- What?  
\- My time when I was nobody. The boy I left in the past. You remind me of who I was because you're just like me in so many ways. I just couldn’t be that now, I have all these layers on me, these skins that I wear. You are who you are and act the way you do; the opposite of me. You don’t need to pass for a phase of experimenting to be a rock star or manly, whatever, people thought you should be. In the past I believe I should be this fantasy person. I shamed myself trying to be what I wasn’t. I want to be close to you and feel that energy you have. There's this spark you have, I'm addicted. I sometimes forget who I am and you wake up the man I really am.  
\- I told you, I'm not here to fix you!  
\- And you do not have to. Just let me feel you. I love you just the way you are.  
\- I see ... I do not know! - God, he loves me in a way can't understand. - Trent, are you happy?  
\- Yes! It's just that I miss the days when all of this was not here. The time I was just a guy with dreams.  
He was having nostalgia, one of the good ones. I realized that I bring forth a time of his life that wasn’t left behind. Wow.  
\- Oh dear, come here. - I say.  
I pull him to bed, to be close to me. I looked into his eyes and kissed him very softly as he hugged me tightly.  
\- I missed you. I'm sorry for everything that happened to you. Really. – He says, looking so ashamed.  
\- Trent, let me tell you what happened to me…  
I tell him what Mariqueen had said and I make him understand that she's right. Explain how I was physically and mentally sick, how it all destroyed me. He felt so bad, I let him feel that bad energy because I need him to understand. I need to put him in my shoes and Mariqueen’s.  
I was tired, I asked him to leave me alone and to give me back my keys. So he did. I close the door while he's still looking at me. I spend some time with my head leaning on the closed door. I can see the shadow of his feet, when he finally leaves I go back to my bedroom, to my bed. I went back to get some sleep, as I have not been sleeping well for a long time. I did not stop worrying.  
In the morning I woke up and did my routine, sat on the couch watching TV and ate something. Then I got a call from Mariqueen.  
\- Hello Lila.  
\- Hi, Mariqueen. How are you doing?  
\- I’m good. Listen… Trent and I talked, arduously, about you and him. Look, I won’t deny that I feel scared to lose him, but that was never on the plate, right?!  
\- We never intent to do it. It was something we couldn’t understand ourselves.   
\- I know that now. Trent made something clear to me, I mean he expressed how important it is for both of you, this moment and all I can see is that this moment is real, I put myself in his place. It’s those intriguing moments that life makes, I couldn’t be interrupt what destiny plays, who am I to possibly know all about life? I know it’s healthy and nothing we had before has changed, to be honest, even when you were together. I was having my husband and the father of my children. Trent managed his time, well no that much, but he never stopped to loving me. That’s the thing I wasn’t seeing, now I see it.   
\- I am sorry Mariqueen, if we made you think Trent was going to leave you. It never crossed our minds.   
\- I believe everything went too fast, we should just have talked more about it. I think, somehow you were both ashamed.  
\- You’re right. It was like a fire lightening us.  
\- So… after I talked to Trent, I decided to forgive you both and grant you your love.  
\- Thank you Mariqueen. Thank you for everything! You are very special to me. I appreciate what you are doing for us. We will never disappoint you.  
I think we went back to where we were before, a good friendship between the three of us.


End file.
